Sometime Soon
by White Rose Withering
Summary: There was something hanging over them. The unsaid What If. She sits on the bus, he sits in his office. One surrounded by people, the other by himself. Both completely alone, thinking of each other. Continuation of Episode 9, Series 4.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Spooks and all it's characters belong to Kudos and the BBC.

Author's Note: This idea has been in my head for a while now, and it would have been done sooner but i kept finding fault with this first chapter. But i really like this version, and i hope you do to. All the Harry & Ruth goodness will be in later chapters, so you'll just have to keep reading. Please leave a review, this writer loves reading them and wants to know what you think.

Sometime Soon - Chapter One

Rain drops spilled down the panes of glass like tears of sorrow rolling down a pale cheek. Streetlights caught the edges of the watery prisms, rainbows of pinks and blues danced across the surface of the window against a backdrop of black velvet. The soothing patter swallowed by the harsh roar of the diesel engine.

A book lay forgotten on her lap. It's once gleaming perfect pages of white, now discoloured and indented by gentle fingers. The character's whispers of pain and love drowned by the cold English weather, and subtle workings of her mind. The rapid chatter of fellow passengers sounded muffled, as though her head were underwater. A small sigh escaped her lips, and her blue, blue eyes stared unfeeling at the crystalline gems that decorated the surrounding windows. If only she could wish herself to be with her thoughts, somewhere free from the chaos currently swirling in her mind.

Dozens of questions fought to reach the front of her brain, bringing with them a mixture of emotions that she couldn't make sense of. The one thing so crystal clear in her mind was the one thing that confused her so. She ran a slender hand across her temple, feeling the familiar signs of a headache pulsing beneath her fingertips.

She didn't even know why she mentioned it. Maybe somewhere in the back of her mind she hoped that he would have dropped everything and offered her a lift home. Maybe hold her hand, walk her to her front door and give her a gentle kiss goodnight. She closed her eyes in a weak attempt to rid herself of the thought. The ramblings of a dreamers mind. Oh but the look on his face. For that brief moment when he turned around to face her, she ignored all the cautions and allowed herself to believe…

Pink fuzz blurred the corner of her vision. With a slight frown creasing her brow, she turned her head towards the thing that had distracted her from her thoughts. A teddy bear lay neglected on the floor, it's off pink fur littered with dust balls and other things. One jet black eyes hung loosely from its socket by a few white threads, the fuzz had faded from various places. A sign that it was well loved.

For the first time, Ruth noticed the sobbing child that sat across from her. Her mousy blonde hair pulled back from her heart shaped face in pig tails. Tears rolled down her rosy cheeks in harsh lines. A chubby hand reached out to the fallen bear, only to be restrained by her mother, who struggled with both her daughter and half a dozen shopping bags. The little girl kicked against her mother in an attempt to retrieve her beloved teddy bear.

Something tugged at her heart like a fist and Ruth found herself reaching towards the pink bear. With it firmly in her grasp, she offered it to the girl with a heart felt smile. She pulled it into a warm embrace and grinned at the lady who had given her back her friend. A pink fuzzy ear brushed a tear from her cheek as she cuddled it to her. Ruth couldn't stop the smile from tugging up the corners from her mouth as the little angel made the bear wave at her. Finally settling her daughter, the mother gave Ruth a relieved sigh and a thank you.

Feeling a warmth spread through her, Ruth started to turn herself in her seat when a tickle spread across her shoulder blades. She reached up a hand to place against the skin at the back of her neck when she realised when she'd had the feeling before. She risked a glance towards the stairwell and felt her heart skip a beat. Though her smile never faltered, something flashed behind her eyes, far too quick to notice.

Forcing herself to take a breath, she turned in her seat and faced the window. Her hands, needing something to do, idly turned a page in her book. She had to bite the inside of her mouth to stop herself from turning towards the source of the footsteps that stopped mere feet away. Had to close her eyes to try and stop her pulse from racing as her name slid off his tongue like honey.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Spooks and all it's characters belong to Kudos and the BBC.

Author's Note: I cannot apologize enough for the lastness of this chapter. So i beg you all to forgive me.  
As with chapter one, this gave me a few problems, but i love this final version.  
Don't forget to leave a review, thanks for reading.

Sometime Soon - Chapter Two

It was no more an office than a cell. Cold, clinical and void of natural light. Too far away from the hustle of the rush hour traffic, no chance at watching the rain roll down the window panes like choking tears.

The harsh white light of the desk lamp cast ugly shadows on the bare walls; they danced to music that was silent to the rest of the world. Words from yet another Special Branch report blurred together to form a block of unfathomable black. The mechanical whirr of the computer mixed with the hollow sound of the pen as it made contact with the wooden desk top only added to the pulsing behind his eyes.

Whether she intended to or not, just by being there when he walked back through the pods, she had taken over what little stamina he had reserved for catching up on paperwork. Those blue, blue eyes shining with something he couldn't quite place. It had been less of a surprise to see her at her desk than she probably would have liked. Adam had been quite useful in informing him that Ruth was constantly asking after him, so it was inevitable really, if not a little sobering.

He hadn't realised how long he'd been pondering until his gaze slowly focused on the grid. That one light had been turned out a while ago, leaving a blackness in its wake. No doubt that sweet smell of vanilla that seemed to follow her everywhere had long since faded. She had left without so much as a wave, the harsh click of her heels echoed throughout the uneasy silence.

The only way to describe it was a decent into madness. Focused only on the gentle patter of rain and the slap of the soles of his shoes on the pavement, he couldn't even remember when the idea seized him. Everything blurred together, a faded water colour of crowded streets, glittering dew drops and the squeal of tires sliding across the wet road. Along with a certain confrontation already playing on his mind, it didn't help to sooth the stress sitting heavy on his bones.

He had taken a dozen lifetimes worth of risk working for MI5. Some of which could have easily resulted in his dismissal, while others had coast more than a few individuals their lives. Funny really how none of those seem to terrify him the way simply standing on a red London bus did, the way she did. At least at work he could keep the cool, calm and indifferent mask in place. Matters of a domestic nature always gave him more trouble.

Even in the dim light, she stood out like a candle in a coal mine. Chocolate brown hair fell round her face in wavy lines making her eyes bluer, darker. A worn book held loosely in her delicate hands, it's simple yet alluring love story put on hold. How many times had she walked through the pods holding such a book? A dreamy look glazed her eyes; the makings of a beautiful smile curved the edges of her mouth. Oh that smile. It never ceased to amaze him just how beautiful that smile of hers really was. Like liquidised sunshine. Even on the verge of tears it was something to be savoured.

Then of course came the child. Such a little thing to put a look of pure happiness on her face. There was something in her eyes that he couldn't recall ever seeing before. It made her look like a complete stranger. Absolutely lovely, but a stranger all the same.

He felt his heart skip a beat when that stranger turned the full force of her blue, blue eyes on him. The smile changed into something secretive, and perhaps he only imagined the flicker behind her eyes. Like something passing in front of a candle.

Forcing himself to take a breath, he pushed every doubt to the back of his mind. He would deal with them tomorrow. Right now, he only wanted to think of her. Each step he took felt as though something were weighing him down, imaginary chains. He couldn't stop the small smile that spread across his face when the faint scent of vanilla reached him. Her name slid off his tongue like honey.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Spooks and all it's characters belong to Kudos and the BBC.

Author's Note: I have to apologize for how long this chapter has taken, but it's finally here. I hope you enjoy it and Don't forget to leave a review.

Sometime Soon - Chapter Three

If silence had any flavour at all, something tangible to be savoured, it would have left a bitter aftertaste in the mouth.

She could feel his eyes on her. His warm chocolate gaze following her every movement, watching, waiting for a reaction. She felt like a rabbit caught within the headlights of a car. So sure that death was vastly approaching and there was nothing to do besides wait for the fatal blow to fall. No one but him had ever made her feel so anxious. Her eyes darted from side to side, hoping for a glance at the eyes that held her captive.

Her shoulders were set rigid. He could tell by the way that she held herself that tension was singing down her arms and building in the tips of her fingers. That nervous habit of clearing her throat every twenty or so seconds had decided to surface. Usually he hated seeing her so unsure of herself, but under the dim yellow hue of the overhead lighting, it made her all the more lovely.

From the moment her name had been spoken, her throat felt like a decent of the desert. She had to try twice before she could finally find her voice again. "We keep meeting like this, Harry," She said in what she hoped was a confident tone of voice, but she couldn't help but notice the slight tremor. "People will start to talk." If _they're not already_, she silently added.

He raised an eyebrow at that, but decided to leave it. That was meant for another time and place. "Yes well, you dashed off before I had a chance to tell you something."

It was said innocently enough, but she couldn't stop the tiny flutter of hope building in her chest. The novel in her lap completely abandoned, she wiped her suddenly sweaty palms on the soft material of her skirt. "Oh really," She tried for disinterested and failed, miserably. "And what might that be?"

Familiar warning signals started to flare as he leant forward. His lips hovered mere inches from her ear. The delicate aroma of peaches from her shampoo mingled with the vanilla perfume to create an almost edible scent. Her hazy blue eyes fluttered closed as she listened to the softness of his voice. "I didn't get a chance to tell you…goodnight."

She flexed her fingers involuntarily; a small frown creased her brow. With a hand on the metal bar, she turned in the worn seat to face him. Her back pressed against the cool glass of the window, and solid, reassuring presence. Disbelief etched itself on her face as she let her eyes drift over the gentle contours of his face.

"You came all this way, just to tell me that?" Though her expression might not have shown it, inwardly she was smiling at the gesture.

His eyes drifted briefly to the rain drop stained window, and the saturated street beyond. A small smile at the edge of his lips left no doubt in her mind of his answer.

After a beat, she gave a tiny shake of her head. A smile broke through her sceptical expression as she dropped her gaze to her hands. Polished nails tapped out a nameless rhythm on the bar.

A movement at the corner of her vision captured her attention. It occurred to her just how close their hands were, barely a pin's width from touching. It was so easy to just reach out and…..She made a noise low in her throat and fought to stop the blush that threatened to spread across her cheeks.

"We missed you, you know, all of us. The grid was…" She trailed off, stumbling for the right turn of phrase. "Let's just say I don't ever want to work for Juliet again." What an understatement that was.

"Well let's hope that you'll never have to." He didn't fail to notice the strain in her voice.

"You wouldn't…." She drew in a shallow breath and rolled her eyes towards the ceiling. The words seemed to stick in her throat, her voice sounded small, strangled. "You wouldn't leave us, would you Harry? You wouldn't quit?"

Something flashed behind his eyes almost too quick to identify. If she were to hazard a guess, she would have said that the cold and collected mask that he used at work was slowly slipping back into place. It was almost depressing to know that he was a completely different person when it was just the two of them.

"What brought that up?" He asked softly enough, but behind it was a harshness that hadn't been there only moments before.

She bit into her bottom lip, so hard in fact that she was surprised that she didn't draw blood. Wishing she kept her mouth shut, she made a dismissive gesture with her hand. "It's just something that came up, during your….absence." She stumbled over the word, making it sound strange, foreign. "Silly really, but if you were, thinking of leaving I mean. Well I'd sooner know now, rather than…well," She swallowed, hard. Once she started it was near impossible to stop the flood gates.

"Ruth, you're babbling," He said with a slight smile.

She made a "_hmm_" noise and ran pale fingers across her temple. Though she felt a small weight lifted at the playful tone, she couldn't help but think that she was on thin ice. "Yes well, that's what happens when I have no idea what I'm saying."

"Ruth…"

"Just promise me," She interrupted him mid sentence. "That you won't abandon us. Contrary to what Juliet seems to think, we need you. I mean someone has to organise the kids, and as much as I love him, Adam's just not up to the job."

Even from day one, Harry had always said that she was an excellent judge of character. The same went for situations. It was just one of the reasons she was one of the most treasured officers on the grid. But it was the other reasons that made her request hard to deal with. A long time ago, he promised himself never to lie to her, even if it was life and death.

Attentively, he reached out and took her hand in his. Though she wouldn't meet his gaze, she went incredibly still. He drew his thumb gently over her creamy skin. "I can't promise you that Ruth. So many things could change that, even if I did." He couldn't help but wince as he thought of Fiona and Adam, and how cruel fate had been to them.

She nodded, sullenly. "Right," She tried to keep the disappointment out of her voice.

"But if it makes you feel better, I promise not to have any lapses in judgement that could mean my dismissal," He said with a smile. He ran his thumb along the length of her slender fingers.

A slight tremor coursed down her arm, and a sigh passed her lips. "And to think I complained about having Juliet for a boss."

She squeezed his hand, harder than she intended to. As if she were afraid that it was some strange dream, and any minute she would wake up, cold and alone. She enjoyed the sensation of his skin against hers, his warmth. She wouldn't allow thoughts of how they worked together to ruin it. A contented sound escaped her lips as Harry traced small circles on the back of her hand.

Ruth cleared her throat and said the first thing that popped into her head, the thing she wanted most. She had almost broken herself out of that annoying little habit. "Coffee?"

He had been anticipating something along those lines since the idea first seized him. He could say anything, anything at all. Yet first thing tomorrow they would fall back into an uneasy routine, even he couldn't change that. It didn't seem right, not like this.

"I can't Ruth," He said softly, almost cringing as the words left his mouth. "It's not that I don't appreciate the offer, but…"

"You jut can't." She finished for him with a grim nod. "Right, no it's fine..." She attempted to smile, but couldn't find it in herself. Too many thoughts of rejection ran through her mind.

Though the rain had stopped so time ago, crystalline droplets rolled down the window panes. Silent tears that neither of them dared to shed.

"Not at the moment, no," He said, watching colour splattered street lights and cars blend into the night. His voice dropped to barely above a whisper, so that no one besides her would hear. "But, sometime soon."

Rousing herself from her thoughts, she blinded those luscious lashes of black velvet. A secretive smile spread her lips as she met his gaze. "I'll hold you to that."

"I sincerely hope you do."

The chiming of the stopping bell broke thought their reverie. Sodden bodies passed between the faded seats, and the rapid chatter of fellow passengers drowned out the roar of the diesel engine. New arrivals paid no attention to the two strangers that seemed to share the same private joke. Streetlights continued to catch the edges of the watery prisms that lined the windows like tears of joy.


End file.
